What should Christians do about homosexuality?

As an introduction to this blog, after noting the controversy surrounding these issues over the last few weeks, I’ve decided to create an entry regarding some basic things Christians should take note of in regards to homosexual behavior. Before launching into this one specific sin, it should also be noted that Christians ought to also think of the sins of divorce, adultery, fornication, and many others in the same way, this one area though tends to be a socially acceptable not only as an action but also it is socially acceptable to bash on those who would still say their actions are sinful. These other actions while more common tend to still be accepted as sin.

While it is not new, there is a renewed interest in homosexual rights. Recently what set things off is the unfiltered words of Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty who is an unashamed Christian on the hit reality show. While some of Phil Robertson’s words were crass and not worded in the best way, that is part of his personality where he just speaks bluntly, but what has really caused the uproar has been what amounts basically quoting the Bible. He even says that his job is just to love sinners whether they are “homosexuals, drunks, terrors” and let God do the judging. This has raised up the fury of many people who advocate gay rights and many Christians as well. Therefore it is good to explore what the Bible teaches about everything regarding gay rights.

In order to get a true understanding of this whole topic there are a few things to first cover before proceeding to the topic of gay rights. First, we have to understand what sin is, then we have to understand the nature of homosexuality (specifically in regards to science and so called “gay/straight genes,” and then we can discuss implications in daily life.

Starting with, we need an understanding of sin. While skipping some parts of the nature of sin, there are two important things to note. First is the very word used to define sin, that word is hamattia which is an archery term which is best thought of as missing the mark, or not hitting the bullseye. There important part to take from this is that anything short of the exact standard is considered sin or failure to uphold God’s standard in this life we live. There is not one person who can say they have not sinned since our target is perfection and we are far from perfect.

The other important aspect (which is necessary because it will be important later on) is the nature of sin impacting humanity. The key concept to discuss here is the idea of humanities sin nature. Without going into the theological arguments and positions for establishing that all humans sin, it is important to note that it is in our nature to sin and each person struggles with different things.

To first  thing to note is that homosexual relations are always considered sin throughout the Bible. In the Old Testament law we see it is an abomination before the Lord (Lev. 18:22), and for those who would argue the God of the Old Testament is somehow different than Jesus and the God of the New Testament, it should be noted that God is unchanging and while not specifically references in the Gospels, sexual immorality which is the broad category of homosexual sin would fall under and that is mentioned on multiple occasions. Also Jesus tells us that he did not come to destroy the law but rather to fulfill it. (Mathew 5:17-19) Therefore homosexual relations would still be sinful regardless of what one’s personal view on the issue is.

For those who would say that homosexuality is genetic, and therefore should be a sin, first it is important to note that basically all of the research that is done has been inconclusive and studies on both sides consistently are done by heavily biased researchers which does tend to skew the results of most of the studies. With that in mind, I will give those who claim there is a genetic factor one part that I agree with them. There is a predisposition to sin. Not every person’s sin looks the same way, some are predisposed to be gossips, some to be slanderers, some to be murders, some to be liars, and some to be sexually deviant, not just homosexuality but also adulterers (sex with a married person that is not your spouse) and fornicators (sex before/outside of marriage). Therefore it is definitely safe to say that all people are predisposed to sin, and this is what theologians generally refer to as sin nature or simply that every human being is going to sin as a result of Adam in the Garden of Eden.

Regarding homosexuality in American culture (and the world at large) there is more than  just what meets the eye. We have to remember that there is a history of not only reviling but also harassing, bullying, and assaulting those who choose to practice this specific sin. First of all it is important to know this is not the heart of God. God has compassion on sinners of all varieties and expects that from His followers. Jesus did come for the purpose of reconciling humanity to God. This purpose required Jesus to die on the cross as payment for our sins (in whatever form they may take). This is the exact opposite of causing someone emotional or physical trauma for their sins.

The purpose of people not being ostracized, cut off and exiled because of their sins is something Christians should stand behind since if we were called to stand before God, not one of us could face judgement and the Holy presence of God without realizing our sins and failures. While not perfect, this aim has been achieved for the most part. However, this is no longer the purpose of the so called “gay rights” movement. Now if someone calls their behavior sin as the Bible clearly defines the actions, you can and generally will be labeled with any number of slurs denoting hate toward these people regardless of how you say they should be treated.

The next stage, and part of the goal the proponents for gay rights are going for are the legalization of gay marriage throughout the US. It has already become legal in multiple states and barring a major change in the mentality of Americans by and large will likely become law in the US sometime in the next several years. As a Christian, should we sit idly by and wait for the seemingly inevitable to happen? Or is there more that ought to be done? Christ did promise that the world will hate Christians because they hated him, and this is definitely being played out in our country and around the world. But this does not give us an excuse to be lazy and take things for granted.

There are two main principles and then the application of them which Christians need to keep in mind in dealing with the challenges facing us with gay marriage. First the principles.

First, Christians are called to be salt to the world as well as light in the dark world. These illustrations paint the picture of Christians being there as a contrast to the dark world around us. With salt, the picture is that salt purifies everything it came in contact with. Similarly, Christians ought to be stalwarts against evil and the sin that is overwhelming the world (if you want evidence that the world is getting worse, just look at the increase in school shootings over the last decade, the increasing violent crime rates worldwide, the acceptance of sin as normal around the world, and there is much more, but that will be for another time).

The second example is that of light and darkness. In scripture we see the world described as dark which is routinely used as a description of sin and we see Jesus saying the darkness hates the light which is apt in dealing with sin, as no one like to have their sin exposed and the light does just that, it exposes sin as sin and convicts the sinner. However, it also allows one to see the truth and potentially change one’s lifestyle.

These two examples set up a pattern where Christians ought to realize the world will continually seek to remove any reminder of sin and conviction. It is important to note that the world will reject much of what we say as Christians whether its against their conventional wisdom or just what they think is right. It is part of what Jesus tells us about the darkness hating the light. This also brings up an instruction for the disciples that Jesus had. Specifically we are to tell people the truth and share the gospel and then leave the results up to God. There are two places to look at how this principle plays out.

First is in Proverbs 1:20-33, and while I won’t cite everything it is interesting to note how people are warned by wisdom and the fools hate knowledge and turn at the rebuke of wisdom. The fools/simple/scorner all rejected the counsel of wisdom and of the wise and is summed up in verse 29 when it says “they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord.” The end result is that because they rejected the fear of the Lord in the first place and despised rebuke, they were set to eat the fruit of their own way, or in other words, they would get the results of the actions they have chosen.

Secondly a similar section of scripture is found in Mathew 10:5-15 where Jesus sends out his disciples and tells that for those who “will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet. Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!” This is similar to the Old Testament warning in Proverbs that those who reject God will reap the rewards of their lifestyle.

All of this comes for the purpose of saying Christians ought to stand firm when gay activists try to redefine the term marriage. Churches should never condone sin and therefore should never be performing marriage ceremonies in their building or have the staff perform the ceremony. However, while marriage was first given to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, regardless of what our country wants to define as marriage does not make it any different than the sin God considers it. It will give those people some of the same monetary benefits currently enjoyed by other couples as defined by the government. However, this shouldn’t trouble Christians, as our treasure is stored in Heaven and what we see in the world is but a shallow picture of what will be.

Christians ought to take solace in knowing that while we are required to pay taxes for the land in which we live, our job is to speak the gospel and speak wisdom to a world that doesn’t want anything to do with God. We must uphold this standard regardless of the reaction we receive, and then God will hold those who continue to sin accountable for their actions. We as Christians ought to stand up for righteousness, but should realize the world is going to hate us as well as our message. Just like the world hated Jesus. This does not mean we ought to hurt others in the name of Jesus, Jesus hated sin and while the world hated him. Jesus willingly laid down his life for those who hated and reviled him. We ought to be doing the same thing and laying down our lives for those who hate us, not crucifying those who hate us.


16 thoughts on “What should Christians do about homosexuality?

  1. I hope God opens your eyes to the truth. I am leaving this link here because Matthew can do a better job than I ever could at defending us homosexuals. It is truly sad that we even need to be defended in this day, but it is what it is. I am assuming that you wrote this piece because you don’t know any gay people (I could be wrong); however, let me make this very clear: sin implies choice, and I very much do not choose to be gay. I have been attracted to the same sex my whole life. I dealt with a lot of pain and self-hate until I grasped the concept that God made me who I am and still loves me very much (fearfully and wonderfully made). Not trying to offend you, but I will say that posts like these are one of the reasons why I don’t go to church anymore (not away from God, but from Protestant churches, where Christ usually seems to be missing – in my experience). Cherry picking pieces from the OT, for example. Lastly, the scientific literature is actually quite supportive of the fact that human sexuality is biological. Genetic? Possibly, but without a doubt rooted in the organic body.

    I wish you all the best and I hope and pray that the love of God surrounds you and reveals His truth to you.

    Matthew’s thesis:
    http://www.matthewvines.com/transcript

    You may also find this link to be eye opening as well:
    http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/jesus-called-me-the-n-word/

    1. I would like to start by saying that I have read both of those links that you posted and while they do make some valid points, specifically regarding Sodom and Gomorrah, but more importantly the Church’s past treatment of homosexuals, it doesn’t change anything I’ve said in my blog. I also would like to clarify that I do have several gay friends and coworkers and while I respect their rights and will be the first one to defend them when someone is doing things that are demeaning towards them, it doesn’t change that their lifestyle is sinful.

      I will agree with you on two things. One, human sexuality does have a lot of areas corresponding to biology. However, the evidence on whether or not sexuality is genetic is still out. However, I would like to say I also agree with the fact that you don’t choose to be gay. This just happens to be your specific vice. For others it is a vice of theft, for others lust (and homosexuality is more than just lust even though that can be a part of it), for others it is murder. Each person has their own vices, their own specific sin tendency. And with this, it is also part of the concept of total depravity taught by protestant churches. The concept of total depravity is that not only are we unable to save ourselves, but also, we are incapable of doing good. Paul describes this concept by saying “what I hate, I do.” (Romans 7:15) This is how we struggle with sin, and at the time Paul writes this the Holy Spirit is living inside of him and giving him power. It is only through the indwelling of God (through the Holy Spirit) by which we can even hope to have some good things come out of our lives. However that is still not enough in God’s eyes. Compared to God’s standard, our good deeds (think of providing a brand new house to a family who’s mother was a casualty of war where she lost a leg because of a land mine) are considered filthy rags(Isaiah 64:6). However, the words used for translation here don’t give the full picture, the picture of the filthy rags is actually the rags that would have been used for women’s menstrual periods, or what we now would call a used tampon. So our good deeds are a used tampon to God. We have nothing good in us and even our good works are horribly tainted. The best we can do then is to yield ourselves to God.

      One other thing I entirely agree up you with is that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that is why you deserve to be respected and you deserve to be treated justly. Which is why if someone were to try bullying you, I would be there for you, even though I don’t know you personally. We all have our own sins to deal with, and while you are more open about being gay (your sin) it doesn’t take away the inherent value that God has for your life, it just means that you are allowing yourself to indulge in the sin you struggle the most with.

  2. If you truly equate divorce, adultery and fornication to homosexuality then why don’t you devote your time to writing hateful diatribes about those sins also. Why the constant focus on homosexuality over other ‘sins’?

    This sick fixation that seemingly heterosexual fundamentalists have on homosexuality is weird.

    1. In response to equating divorce, adultery and fornication to homosexuality, eventually those will be topics on this blog, in case you haven’t noticed, this blog is less than two weeks old and this is a pressing issue in our culture right now due to the controversy surrounding Duck Dynasty and it seems apt to write about that topic specifically here. Soon there will be more topical studies regarding how Christians ought to live, specifically in regards to those other topics.

      One reason you may notice more of a fixation on homosexuality will stem from the fact that the battle there is very militant (on both sides) and therefore it draws the attention of many people whereas the battles for marriage over divorce and fornication are more subtle having already been an accepted thing for people to do. It is no more correct for the Church to approve and allow people living together to marry with the church approving of their situation than it is for them to perform a marriage ceremony for a homosexual couple.

      1. The blog may be young, but I’ll bet that over time it will disproportionately target homosexuality over the other ‘sins’.

        You people can’t help yourselves.

        And it’s militant on one side. On the other are people who love each other just trying to go about their daily loves.

      2. If its only militant on one side then why is it that when Phil Robertson paraphrased scripture and said to let God be the judge, our job is to love them regardless, that his interview blew up with calls for him to be lynched, shot at, fired from his job (and yes the show is his job), and many other situations. While some of the language he used was crude, the overall point is that while it is a sin, his job and the job of Christians is to love sinners even if he didn’t understand them. Yet the violence came up against him, from your so called non-militant side.

        As for the proportion of the blog in the future, I invite you to follow me and find out just how often I bring up homosexuality. While I will bring it up from time to time, it really isn’t going to be the focus of the blog. Whether homosexuality is a sin (which is taken as a given) is brought up in the blog, the real issue is how should Christians be responding to homosexuals and calls for loving treatment of them (and no, accepting a person as a person and loving them, does not require us to accept their sins (just as we shouldn’t accept other sins) nor does it require Christians to change the institution of marriage from what God gave us in the beginning.

  3. Thank you again Kyle, I Reblogged your message, I hope this is OK, we did so because we are very much in agreement with you because you are in agreement with God as confirmed in the Scriptures.

    I have also posted about Homosexuals (see link below) yes we are to Love everyone but we hate the evil they say and do and yes we are to open our mouths and stand up for God’s Truth in all areas regardless of the opposition we receive even if we are Martyred which Jesus said some of us will be but we do so in Love and for Love as you shared.

    Blog Post – http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/was-it-adam-and-eve-or-adam-and-steve/

    Thank you again Kyle, we look forward to your sharing of God’s Truth in the future.

    Christian Love – Anne

    1. Feel free to reblog any of the posts that I make. The content is here to encourage Christians to live more Godly lives and having people share this blog is the best way to reach more people and encourage more people to live for Christ.

      1. Thank you Kyle and please feel free to do the same with our Posts, although Ron does not Post very often now, he supports and encourages me with our Blog and I trust in God’s wisdom which I asked for and received and so I have His assurance as Jesus leads me into all Truth and knowledge by the empowering of The Holy Spirit.

        So when someone also shares God’s Truth we like to promote it as we did with your Post and yes it is so others will be encouraged and equipped in their walk with Jesus by knowing and trusting in His Truth not man’s worldly wisdom..

        God bless you for your faithfulness.

        Christian Love from both of us – Anne

  4. Reblogged this on Freedomborn … Aussie Christian Focus and commented:
    We stand with you Kyle in all you have shared in this Post, your words have Godly wisdom and knowelage. We don’t accept the sin of Homosexuality the same as we don’t accept the sins we have commited as accebtable to God, we need to have True heart repentance for the evil we have done, which includes turning away from doing evil and seeking to do good by the empowering of the Holy Spirit….. God tells us to put our evil flesh to death and aim for perfection but we don’t wait till we are dead we aim for it Now like Paul did and he arrived and so received his reward… How good is that!……
    Thank you again Kyle and God bless you greatly …….. Christian Love from both of us-Anne.

  5. Id like to begin by thanking you for creating this blog and the purpose for which it was created, regardless of the topic. Id like to pose a couple questions regarding this issue. First, the Scripture in Leviticus(18:22) often quoted as the fundamental reasoning for God’s position on homosexuality. Aren’t there many other laws given towards conduct including this one that aren’t practiced today? Secondly, in Acts 10:9-16, Peter had his vision of the unclean beasts on the sheet, and was commanded to slay and eat. When he refused, he was told, and I’m paraphrasing here, “What God calls clean, it’s clean”. If this be true, and with God nothing is impossible, then couldn’t he clean and save the homosexual, and therefore the homosexual being isn’t immoral? One more thing, if you’ll indulge me, what about a homosexual male that regardless of his desires, chooses celibacy and abstinence? Is he still condemned to hell?

    1. As for this being just another law that isn’t practiced today. There are some ceremonial laws that are no longer practiced today such as calling women unclean during their monthly period (Lev15:19) or the eating of pork. Peter’s vision definitely allowed for many of those customs and actions to be allowed instead of being against the law still. While the vision of Peter was a defining moment in the process of Christians being allowed to eat certain foods and things of that nature (Acts 10:9-16). So what is the difference? The difference is in the purpose for each law, namely moral laws and ceremonial laws. The moral laws will never change, these are things like the 10 commandments which govern actions that we do between ourselves and God or ourselves and other (wo)men. The ceremonial laws tend to deal more with things like purification and how to behave in the temple or the governing of sacrifices. Jesus came to fulfill the law which is why there is no more need for sacrifices and why these ceremonial laws while important for a time may not apply any longer. However, the ultimate point of the law is to point out our inability to keep the law. I you go through and look at everything commanded in Leviticus and Deuteronomy, keeping each point of the law is a daunting task, and reason would dictate that no person can keep the law.

      You actually started to hit on the key issue in regards to all of sin at the end when you started talking about things being possible or impossible for God and then also the idea of being condemned to hell. That whole section is really where many people (including all too often well intentioned Christians) fail to have a complete understanding of what the Bible teaches regarding sin and what condemns us to hell. In relation to homosexuality it seems as though there is this concept that they cannot be saved. But the truth is FAR from this. As I was talking about right above this in regards to the law, no one can keep the law and we ALL sin. Paul puts it very clearly in Romans 3:23 where he says “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Unless I am highly mistaken not everyone is homosexual, instead we have other sins that condemn us. James 2:10 reminds us that “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” This is why it is crucial to understand the law as that which points us to our need for a savior. That savior is Jesus Christ who died on the cross for all humanity, even those who reject him. In fact, this is why it is unfair to say that God condemns us to Hell. Rather, he has provided the means by which we can be saved, but He will not force himself upon us and if we don’t want Him, He has prepared a place that is worthy of the punishment which we deserve because we reject the gift of salvation Jesus has freely offered us.

      Because of the death of Jesus on the cross, we no longer have to be lawbreakers, but rather we can accept that Jesus paid the price for our sins and stands as the mediator between us and God (not just those who don’t practice homosexuality) but also he casts our sins as far as the east is from the west, and while before Christ we stand out like crimson (illustrating our sinfulness) he makes us white as snow (illustrating our purity). This is why it is only through the cross of Jesus that ANYONE can be saved.

      One last point that I’d like to make sure is absolutely clear, is that in relation to those who would claim homosexuality is genetic and therefore can’t be a sin unless you claim God creates imperfect things: The whole of creation is tainted with the consequences of sin. These consequences make it impossible for humans to not sin. The Bible describes this is being dead in your sins, and unable to save yourself. This is why Jesus came, to give us freedom and power so we can actually choose to not sin. Prior to Jesus we will always gratify the desires of our own specific sin nature. Some people have issues with sexual immorality, some with theft (kleptomaniacs), some with lying (compulsive liars), some with murder (serial killers) and ultimately we all have issues with a myriad of sins. As a Christian we ought to be using our freedom to not sin to help others see Jesus and while we should do NOTHING to encourage their sin (hence why a Christian priest or pastor should not perform a marriage for a gay couple or a couple that is sleeping together before marriage, please note both gay/straight are included there because too often churches don’t care about the second half of that) we should encourage people to live lives that have less sin in them, or in other words we should encourage each other to live godly lives.

      1. Thank you for your reply. However, I feel that there is still a connotation of prejudice in your reply, and among Christians today. Romans 7:18 reminds us that “in the flesh dwelleth no good thing”, and since my flesh is no different from yours, then immoral sins are present in both our lives. If that be so, then what about the moral commandment of Jesus to judge not lest ye be judged?

      2. This is where I partially agree with you and partially do not. I agree in the sense that there is nothing good in my flesh and there are still sins present in my life. Just like in the life of anyone on earth. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8) This is why it is necessary for Christ to have died on the cross and while we still sin, we battle against the sin in our lives. If you struggle with homosexuality, you should be fighting against it. If you struggle with adultery, you should be fighting against it. If you struggle with pornography, you should be fighting against it. If you struggle with lying, you should be fighting against it. If you struggle with hatred, you should be fighting against it. All of these sins that are clearly laid out in scripture should be fought against on a daily basis even though we are going to fail regularly. Look at Romans 7 to see Paul’s description of his battle with sin. We still have to recognize what sin is, and therefore when Jesus calls specific actions sin, we still call them sin. Each person is a sinner that equally needs Jesus.

        The key issue then is are we going to allow ourselves to accept sin into our lives? Or are we going to fight back against it, and against letting it become an accepted norm in our society? This is why we churches should not be performing marriage ceremonies for gay couples, nor should they perform wedding ceremonies for straight couples living together. Nor should we be accepting of other sins such as theft, such as lying, such as any other sin. However, we should be spurring each other on toward righteousness and helping one another live lives that are worthy of Christ and the holiness He has called us to.

  6. KF- you don’t look that old but God has given you much wisdom. I’m a grandma who is hurting- I really just don’t know what to do anymore- I love Jesus- I raised my granddaughter in church, her Mom used to come also, she went to Christian school- her parents divorced when she was about 7- Mom stopped going to church then, we had just bought a big ole house in another town and they moved in with us, in an upstairs apartment, she also had a little sis. Mom re-married and had a little brother. When she got about 12 or so she started doing drugs, overdosed more than once, actually showed up at the hospital dead once, and she became bi-sexual. She is 21 now and says she IS gay, there were some rumors that she had been pregnant and lost the baby, others that she had an abortion, and she denies them all- the rumors came from her Mom and sister. A couple years ago she was going with a very sweet little gal whose Mom said she was a Christian- she had been a heroine addict, she said she was delivered from her addiction when Jesus saved her however, she was a lesbian, and she was still living with her partner. Anyway, I tried just loving on them & praying for them. My husband & I took them out to eat a couple times, befriended her, my granddaughter brought me the Bible one day and said “Mamaw, the Bible says if I am homosexual I am going to Hell” and I replied “it sure does” and that was the end of our conversation. Then she dumped this girl, I felt like she was going for the shock factor and since we were welcoming to this girl- she was done with it. During this time she was sleeping with guys and gals, I never really met any of them except the boy whose mother gave her the drugs when she showed up at the hospital dead! She met him in the mental ward, he had just tried to commit suicide.
    She was in there because of the drugs. Now to PRESENT- she is going with a girl, whose Mom is dying? of liver cancer- she moved across town with them- I have been ministering to her Mom, took her books, movies, and prayed with her, she said she had recently asked Jesus into her heart. I have prayed much that she would not die- as she also has a small son about 5-7 yrs old. (My granddaughter asked Jesus into her heart when she was younger and was baptized., by the way.)
    I hardly ever see her anymore- her and her “friend” work evenings. I asked her the other day if she ever had a day off when her gf had to work, I would like to spend some time with her, so she called Saturday and said gf had to work. Our church ” Assembly of God” has recently started having our main service on Sat. evenings at 6:30pm & it has worked out good, we have glorious worship & Jesus shows up. I take her little brother and we go together. I invited her to church and she declined- said no, pick me up after church. I agreed & 5 minutes later she called and wanted to know if gf could come 2. I felt like screaming (and later did) she called my husbands phone and I told him to tell her NO. I really just don’t know what to do with this situation. I heard Jesus say “hate the sin, love the sinners” and I do love her- I would say she has a major chunk of my heart! I have seen her making out with these girls and things I did not want to see. And then there’s the matter of the fact I am ministering to gf’s mom! I wonder what she thinks, surely she knows homosexuality is a sin. I was so distraught before church, I got in the shower and remembered Pastor’s comment about a mighty shout & I screamed 3 times and then shouted Jesus, Jesus, Jesus- my poor hubby came running- and that awful demonic feeling left me! But I was still broken-hearted- should I invite them over together? I don’t want to, I want to see my granddaughter- I think her gf took Sat. night off work when she found out she was coming over here. I want to ” love her through this” but I don’t want to see her with her gf. I’ve had enough. I used to drink a lot years ago- I never wanted my mom/grandmom to see me drunk! I wanted them to think well of me, not flaunt my sin in front of them. She went to church with us on Christmas Eve ( and our family all went out to dinner), and I think that is perhaps the last time I spent a day with her. But I think I’d rather miss her than spend time with her and GF!! Am I wrong? Should I be more welcoming? What would Jesus do? I was pondering this at church and the thought came He would heal them and tell them to go and sin No more! But they plan to continue sinning! Signed, Broken-heart

    1. I want to first apologize for taking so long to get back to you and respond to your comment. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to you because your situation is a very difficult place to be in, and there is a point to which you can’t win. I first want to commend you for staying by your granddaughter through all of this and want to encourage you not to give up. I also want to let you know that my wife and I have been and will continue to pray for you and your entire family in all of this. Also, please continue to invite her and her friend to church, let her friend come, it may not be an ideal situation, but one thing I’ve learned is the Word of God does not return void and will accomplish what God has in store for it to do on any occasion (Isaiah 55:11). God is powerful, and His word will impact the lives of those who hear it. Hebrews 4:12 describes it as a sword, mind you not a broadsword, but more like a surgeons knife, which cuts to our hearts and like a scalpel performs surgery on our hearts, minds, thoughts and motives. If there is an opportunity for your granddaughter, her friends, or anyone to hear the Word of God preached, bring them to that because God’s word can’t work if its not heard or read.

      I also want to encourage you that while you are ministering to the mom, you’re ultimately ministering to all of them, and while you can’t control what your granddaughter does, even giving her a cold glass of water on a hot day can be ministering to her. She does need to know you love her and needs to see you acting in love towards her and even the people she cares about, even though you know they are doing things God doesn’t approve of. However, you mentioned that you used to hide your sins, but they flaunt it about, and the reality is they may be doing that for the shock value. I have mentioned welcoming them, but I want to be clear that if they are flaunting their sin, you should tell them to knock it off. If they want to kiss and do those things in front of you and your family that is when you can and should ask them to leave, but if they are just hanging out and spending time with you, that is when you can be loving and minister to them. They do need to know you, and more importantly God don’t approve of what they are doing, but that you are still willing to be there for them.

      Lastly, I want to once again say I know you’re in a tough position, and it is heartbreaking when loved ones are doing things that flagrantly violate God’s commands. While my situation is a bit different, I have many family members who don’t know Jesus and want nothing to do with God, and it doesn’t do anything but break my heart. It never gets easier, and you will have heartache hear, but present it to God in prayer. He will provide you with guidance and strength to continue through all of this. Once again my wife and I are praying for you.

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